Lesbian Disney Princess <3
Thank you guys for all those notes! To celebrate my 40,000 views on my Gay Disney Princes, here are my lesbian princesses. Hope you guys like them :)
DAT ALADDIN THO
That Phillip and Aladdin *_*
i couldn’t resist i bought a giant spoon ok
someone save me from my compulsive buying
you aren’t alone
guYS IM FUCKING CRYING I RAN OUT OF PADS SO I WENT INTO MY MOMS ROOM AND I FOUND ONE BUT I WAS LIKE “OMG THIS IS HUGE MAYBE ITS JUST THE PACKAGING” AND THEN I OPENED IT AND ITS LIKE MORE THAN HALF THE LENGTH OF MY ARM AND ITS BIGGER THAN IT TOO OMG I CANT CLOSE MY LEGS. SEND HELP.
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE I WONT LEAK NOW RIGHT?
one day, I am going to write a tv show called Con and it will be about this really hot chick who has no interest in comics but who likes to go to conventions dressed in perfectly replicated costumes of various sexy villainesses for the sole purpose of seducing Legit Nerd Boys back to their parents’ houses where she then knocks them out and steals all their mint condition first editions. She then sells them on ebay for outrageous sums and buys herself lavish gifts of self indulgent Girl Things like caviar that she spills over her body as she laughs maniacally at the idiotic man-children who succumb to her feminine wiles.
One day at a con an Actual Geek Girl™ catches onto what she’s doing and confronts her and then they become best friends and ruin Legit Nerd Boys lives and become rich and run off into a lesbian sunset together where they live happily ever after with their spandex and their misandry
tw: image contains a really heterosexist tweet
The powers that be do not want me to have a good night.
Man, let’s say you’re at a party, yeah? And there are people at the party that prefer cake, and people at the party who prefer pie, so the host serves both. Alright, cool.
So you go in for a slice of pie, when suddenly the host CHARGES over and goes “WOAH WOAH WOAH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”
“I’m having some pie, man, chill.”
“What the hell? I thought you had cake last time.”
“Yeah, I did have cake last time. But I’m not feeling the cake tonight. And this is my favorite kind of pie.”
“Ohhh no. I thought you were a CAKE person and now all of a sudden you’re eating pie on me? You’re confusing me! Make up your mind!”
“What’s the big deal, even? There’s plenty of both for everyone.”
“YOU CAN’T LIKE BOTH CAKE AND PIE. YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE.”
But man, fuck that guy, I’m going to have the pie anyway, who cares if I had cake last week.
And then if that pie is so good that I never want any other dessert for the rest of my life, that doesn’t mean I suddenly never liked that cake that I ate.
Actually this metaphor is kind of dumb. I guess I should just leave it at “fuck you.”
No, it’s sweet. In fact, it’s a lovely springboard for the rest of the sexualities. For instance, asexuality:
You’re enjoying the party - the music, the conversation - but you just don’t feel like eating cake or pie.
Suddenly, the host charges over with some cake he’s sure you’ll love. He knows this cake. It’s not too rich and not too dry. You politely refuse.
The party keeps going until the host comes back with a slice of pie, practically shoving it in your hands. You try to refuse again.
“Oh come on, what do you want?”
“Nothing, I’m fine.”
“Are you on a diet?”
“No, I just don’t eat pie. Or cake.”
“…you had a bad experience with dessert, didn’t you?”
“Forgive me if I’m getting too personal, but it had to be something traumatic. Did someone spike a baked good of whatever construction with a laxative?”
“Fuck no. I just have no desire to eat dessert. I’m sure your pies, cakes, muffins, cookies, waffles, wafers, Nutella sandwiches, what have you…I’m sure they are all lovely. Please, serve them to any and all who would consume them. I’m not one of them. Is that really so hard to comprehend?”
“…you just haven’t found the right one.”
I sort of really love dessert metaphors for sexuality because some of the things people say about sexuality are so ridiculous, but people really only notice them with the metaphors.
Also I love them because I like food and I’m going to eat some dessert now.
the metaphor may begin to break down around demisexuality but what if you’re not really into the whole “eating desserts” thing, in general; like, maybe sweets just ain’t your thing! But your significant other always makes special desserts just for you and they put a lot of effort into them and so of course you eat them and they’re—well, they’re really nice, and so from then on you just really like the desserts they make, but if you go out to a party and they just have random desserts chillaxing you’re always like “eh” “nah” “doesn’t look too appetizing” “[SO] didn’t make ‘em they’re probs not that gr8”
and with pansexuality is like if you like cakes AND pies AND puddings and—just, all desserts, as long as they taste good! Trifles? Yes! Cookies? Yes! Fruit salad? Yes! Ice cream? Yes! But then people are just like “what there are only pies or cakes to choose from WHAT ARE THESE OTHER DESSERTS YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT I DON’T UNDERSTAND U”
BLESS THIS POST
I’M FUCKING DYING. I JUST MADE MY MOM READ IT TOO HFVGIHGLWRHTR.
Poplar Kid’s Republic
Shakespeare & Co. Antiquarian Books
Cook and Book
El Ateneo Grand Splendid
Buenos Aires, Argentina
The 1st one though. WANT !
am i funny yet